With a guest appearance by Paul Shull, the band’s manager, and the hilarity confined within the beautiful package which is “Care Failure”, this can easily go down as one of my most fun interviews ever. Although I was stumbling over my words just looking at this gorgeous woman I still managed to talk about hunting unicorns, eating said unicorns, and how annoying it is to be singled out based on your gender when playing in a band. Check out how lost I managed to get!
Paul: [singing]: GODS OF WAR!!! MAY YOUR HAMMER BE MIGHTY!! Care: Uh... thanks comrades!
[laughing] So, we’re just under... Care: Sorry, I just kicked your hand.
That’s alright, that’s what I’m in to. We’re just under a month away from the one year anniversary of your latest release, Unicorn Steak... Care: Wooo! [applauding] One person claps!
Yeah, I would but I have a [ waves voice recorder] in my hand. Care: Yeah, you can’t really clap with one hand. You can kind of do a really lame-ass one. [both attempt one-handed clap]
Yeah that’s right. [laughing] Care: At least I can.
Exactly, have you guys been writing at all since the release? Care: Yeah we have, I’m doing the record right now, I flew in a couple of hours ago from LA to do this show then I’m heading back to continue the last leg of the record. Recording it with Matt Hyde, he’s done everything from like Slayer, God Hates Us All to like Monster Magnet – I swallow my words a lot – ...so I wrote all the songs and we’re recording like twenty or so ‘cause I do all these interludes and random shit where I can, you know, to tie it all together. Then at least I can say I tried and I’m proud and so that’s what I can say....
What’s more delicious, your album or a slab of barbecued muscle and fat from a unicorn? Care: Oh my god! Dude, like of course the unicorn, like I fuckin’ suck. Who cares? Who cares, I’m like no big deal, why are you here? Why are you interviewing me? Of course the unicorn man, so delicious! “Mmm mmm” PETA’s gonna be on my ass about that. My girlfriend Nikki Awesome, she’d be so mad at me for saying unicorn taste’s good, but I think since they don’t exist that it's okay.
Oh alright, so you don’t go hunting for unicorns then, eh? Care: Uh in my spare time, but you know, leisurely.
Well what does a horn go for these days? Care: Black market or retail?
Your pick. Care: You gotta talk to Paul Shull, the guy who just sang there.
Ok, that joke died a long time ago! I was just poking it with a stick. [both laughing] Care: No, no. Thank you! I appreciate that it’s not the same question over and over again. Even when you like see the same interviewer next time it’s the same thing. You mix it up, I’m very thankful, thank you guys!
[laughs] Or guy. Care: The bottom of my fever, guy.
Your fever? Care: Yeah.
Okay [laughs] Alright, your band is up for the Henry Rollins Award, do you think you guys are the hardest working band and carry on his ambition? Care: He has a lot of ambition, that’s a large roll to live up to! Gosh, c’mon Edge has somehow involved us in a couple awards shows lately and we haven’t won anything yet so that would be cool to win something “C’mon guys!” But yeah, it’s just like they say, you know how everyone’s like, [in a snobby accent] “It’s really nice to be nominated!” It is though eh, it’s funny! So that’s just the one part, yeah. Have you ever read Get In The Van? You should, and every band should.
I’ve been told that twice today. Care: Oh, okay. I’ll be the third, but yeah, it’s true.
You’re, uh, okay, never mind. You are the second, it’s the second... never mind. Care: Oh!
Yeah. Yep, there! You got it! There you are! Care: [snobby accent] I never claimed to be good at math!
That’s alright! Care: I just claimed to play guitar, I just work in a band.
Okay, well, you guys are also up for Monster Energy Band for most outstanding live band, where do you guys stand out as a band playing live? Care: We’re so outstanding! I think that we just, uh, you can see the passion and all that cheesiness, you know? I think that we really connect to people, we’re like a crowd band, like we feed off them. It works, we work on one another and play off it, I think that’s why maybe... maybe that’s why! I have no idea why... I don’t know, I think whoever nominated us made a big, big, big horrible mistake. [laughs] We suck live!
Oh yeah? Care: Oh, horribly!
How many times do interviewers mention the fact that well, you have a uterus? Care: Well, I mention that I have a vagina, but uterus? Not many.
No? Really? None of them mention the fact that you’re a girl? Care: They have, it’s really, [high pitch voice] “What’s it like being a girl in a band, in a rock band? What’s it like being a girl in this industry?”
[laughing]: On a scale of 1 – 10 how much does that annoy you? Care: On a scale of 1 – 10... [snobby voice] “Uh, 7 point 5 - 8” only because, not 10 or 11 just because people act like... sometimes people are like... I didn’t even notice it at first, to be honest like I didn’t even... but then, I think it does me some good. Like I think it helps me stand out, if I was just another guy with a guitar... right?
Yeah. Care: ‘Cause there’s not a lot of whatever. But having a vagina does suck like ‘cause for instance you’ll go to like, we all walked into this like venue and the promoter shook every guys hand in my band and went by me and just didn’t shake my hand. They think I’m a girlfriend or a merch girl, so yeah it’s funny. It’s just funny to [squeaky voice] “see this little girl” I’m crazy so it’s...
So, I’m assuming you guys get compared to the Distillers a lot then too. Care: Sometimes, like Brody, I know her through like this guy Allan, who’s amazing, and is married to Natasha who’s like Queen’s of The Stone Age keyboardist and she passed away recently so it’s awful and horrible.
Natasha? Care: Yeah, Natasha, she died of cancer, Brody’s alive.
Oh, I was like, I didn’t hear about that. Care: Yeah... Allan wanted to like write with me and he tried to hook us up or something and he, I guess, introduced us to her. She’s doing a new project, I haven’t heard it yet but I’ve heard that it’s really cool, I don’t know. I don’t have any new music, I need to get hooked up, I need some money and I need to get hooked up with some records, ‘cause I have the same shit that I’ve listened to my whole life, all my old records. I’m so starving for some music right now, help me out.
You want me to help you out? Care: Please, anybody, S-O-S.
I don’t know, you could go husking downtown? Care: Yeah, give me some inspiration!
Me inspire you? No, no, no, you don’t want me to inspire you, I drink a lot. Care: [robotically]: Right–on!
Right arm? Care: Right on.
Oh right on! Okay, it’s that swallowing words thing. So what does the rest of the year hold for Die Mannequin? Care: A bucket full, no, a bathtub full of rainbows and chuckles. A lot of during...
A lot of acid too... Care: No, not acid. We’re not 10 years old, so. I think we’re going to Europe for like a couple weeks again as soon as I’m done mixing this record. It’s a long go time, the green light starts, put this record, hit the road for the rest of our lives, I don’t know, that’s ’09; working my butt off! [ END ]