I lay skin deep under the tattoo gun as I receive a text from the boss about reviewing the new Necrowretch album, The Ones from Hell. I LOVE Necrowretch and have since they crawled out of the catacombs of…wherever they came from (France, Einstein)! So I pop another Vicodin, take a shot of whisky, pound a beer and we’re in for a long haul as the skin begins to crawl into this journey through one of the greatest horror audio shows.
I feel as though Necrowretch is a band that have flown under the radar without appropriate recognition for many moons, but that’s ok by my standards, as I love to love the unknown. On their fifth official release through Season of Mist, Necrowretch embody a blender of musical hellfire only the undead will appreciate. This is CVLT!
As the needle begins to pierce the skin, “Pure Hellfire” creeps in with a Randy Rhoads-esque intro that’s then thrown into a Dissection, Watain blender. With unholy Speedy Gonzalez velocity, the album swiftly speed dives into the netherworld…and that’s just the outline.
Up out of the chair with my Bluetooth on and my gold tooth displayed, I fire up the hemi and “Luciferian Sovranty” blasts through the surround sound with just enough I-can’t-drive-55 old school grindage to make it to the salad bar where the cactus is force-fed to porcupines awaiting your consumption of pure death breath.
Turn on the windshield wipers as there’s a storm ahead with “The Ones from Hell” pouring down on this Hevrolet before reaching the Gatekeeper Theatre. Opening the doors is the ghost of Jeff Hanneman escorting you into “Absolute Evil” before lurking back to open the curtains for the premiere of the eeriness that compels you to seek your seats while we’re on some SodomObsessed by Cruelty shit at this point.
“Codex Obscurita” kicks in and Necrowretch reaches out and disembowels the audience with full-on Slayer plagiarism and blast beat euthanasia. With mild whiplash, I gotta take a walk to the popcorn stand leaving my loved one sitting in the seats of “Darkness Supreme.” I think she’ll be ok in there as the band sing about skinning people and holding up a goat or something like that. I need to take a quick peek into the new Frozen movie and adjust my…ok, I’m scared.
“Through the Black Abyss” again starts with an Adrian Vandenburg-like intro and finds me seeking my seat in this audio nightmare. Squinting, I try to adjust my eyes to the darkness that surrounds me, but there’s a whirlwind churning in a tornado of razorblades known as “Through the Black Abyss.”
Necrowretch one-up camera obscura with “Codex Obscurita.”
I steal the usher’s flashlight and scurry my chickenshit ass back next to my date who seems unaffected by things that go bump in the night. She’s seemingly unaffected. “It’s just blackened death metal,” she whispers.
Each song on The Ones from Hell is its own mini-masterpiece filled with enough hate, putrefaction and sorrow to fill a deep inferno of black, deathly abyss, but it’s the closer “Necrowretch” when you know you’re at risk with its heartfelt message ‘666.’
If Necrowretch never recorded another album, I would say they’re at the top of their game and I can’t think of a scarier soundtrack than The Ones from Hell. Now that the audio barrage is over and everyone has safely returned home, babe, can I have my jacket and jujubes back? Babe? BABE!!!
The Ones From Hell Track Listing:
01. Pure Hellfire
02. Luciferian Sovranty
03. The Ones from Hell
04. Absolute Evil
05. Codex Obscuritas
06. Darkness Supreme
07. Through the Black Abyss
Run Time: 37:00 Release Date: February 14, 2020 Record Label: Season of Mist
Assualt yourself with “The Ones from Hell” lyric video.
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